John Darnielle, you coy wordsmith, you nimble-tongued tormentor of my soul. You thought that you were simply informing your admiring public of two new slammin’ EPs and an upcoming tour with guitar virtuoso Kaki King, but John, you revealed so much more. For one instant in time, our interwebbed e-souls were one.

The ostensible reason for Darnielle’s recent post on Pitchfork was to announce two new Mountain Goats EPs arriving on Horse & Buggy Press — (1) the limited-edition (666 copies!) double 7-inch Satanic Messiah available only at Mountain Goats shows or digitally through the trendy pay-what-you-want model (TMT News) and (2) the Scott Solter-produced Black Pear Tree split with tourmate Kaki King — but the true motivation for the posting was, of course, the disclosure of Darnielle’s Flickr account and the disclosure of my heart’s fondest desires.

John Darnielle, after perusing your photostream a couple (of dozen) times, I saw through your feeble charade of “selling albums” and “gaining publicity,” and I saw into your delicate, Satan-obsessed soul. John, I too love inscrutable tofu dishes. And as a matter of fact, I also have quite the soft spot for sleepy cats and cheese-covered extruded snacks. And if you would only come through Georgia on your Last Happy Night of Your Life tour, we could indulge our twin passions together, as God intended.

Satanic Messiah tracklist:

A1. Satanic Messiah A2. Wizard Buys a Hat
 B1. Sarcofago Live B2. Gojam Province 1968

Black Pear Tree Split with Kaki King tracklist:

A1. Black Pear Tree
 A2. Mosquito Repellent
 A3. Bring our Curses Home
 B1. Supergenesis B2. Roger Patterson Van
 B3. Thank You Mario but our Princess Is in Another Castle

Last Happy Night of Your Life tourdates:

09.14.08 - Dorset, UK - End of the Road Festival 09.15.08 - London, UK - ULU 10.13.08 - Chicago, IL - Park West * 10.14.08 - Milwaukee, WI - Pabst Theatre * 10.15.08 - Omaha, NE - The Slowdown * 10.17.08 - Denver, CO - Bluebird Theater * 10.18.08 - Salt Lake City, UT - In the Venue * 10.20.08 - Seattle, WA - Showbox * 10.21.08 - Portland, OR - Wonder Ballroom * 10.23.08 - San Francisco, CA - The Independent * 10.24.08 - San Francisco, CA - The Fillmore * 10.25.08 - Los Angeles CA - Troubadour * 10.26.08 - Los Angeles CA - Troubadour * 10.28.08 - San Diego, CA - The Belly Up Tavern * 10.29.08 - Tucson, AZ - Club Congress * 10.31.08 - Lubbock, TX - Tequila Jungle * 11.01.08 - Austin, TX - Antones * 11.02.08 - Dallas, TX - Granada Theatre * 11.03.08 - New Orleans - LA Republic * 11.05.08 - Chapel Hill, NC - Cat’s Cradle * 11.06.08 - Washington, DC - 9:30 Club * 11.07.08 - Philadelphia, PA - Theatre of the Living Arts * 11.08.08 - Brooklyn, NY - Music Hall of Williamsburg * 11.09.08 - New York, NY - Webster Hall *

* Kaki King